But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
