Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
