scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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