Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
