Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
