apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
