Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Randomize
