Dual....:-)
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
