what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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