Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
