Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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