i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
