...so i touched it.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
