just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
3pm strippers are depressing
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
