I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
