Ambien. No doubt about it.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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