yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
