I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
