chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
