ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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