I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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