You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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