bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
