I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
