i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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