I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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