so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
