Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
