it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
