Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
No subtext here. People are naked.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
