Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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