So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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