Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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