You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
