u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
