I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
