so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
