maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I think I just sharted jello shots
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
