Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
