I just gift wrapped bread.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
