CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
