dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
