were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
