his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
