he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
and she was petting her beer can
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
