no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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