Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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