am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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