saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
well you can't waste a boner
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
whose parrot is this?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
