did you get engaged???
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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