I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
