she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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