Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
